Relentless Courage

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.” --Robert Frost

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." --Matthew 7:13-14 (Bible, NIV)

Can Robert Frost’s words really be true? Or are they just a poetic simile to make us feel better about the various choices we make in life? The reality is we are all drowning in an ocean of rhetoric jargon by the public via tv, radio, internet, text, social media and advertising that is enough to make anyone’s mind go insane. We all know that it has become uncontrollable and have been exposed by it many times both intentionally and unintentionally. We have all received or been exposed to unhealthy messages and imagery looking to dominate our lives if we allow it. Where does it all end? Will it ever?

Matthew 24:37-39 says “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.”

According to the Bible the world will continue in its ways until the very day that Jesus returns. The honest unfiltered truth is that it will not end, everyone will keep going and doing all they did before like blind sheep heading to the slaughter. Regardless, of a pandemic, protests, hurricanes, wars or other worldly madness it will not be enough to change some people and unfortunately most people. I wonder though, will it be enough to change you? Will it be enough to change me? When will we wake-up? And say “Enough!” The end of all that madness can start in yourself today. You see, the reality is I must accept the fact that the only person on this planet that I can change is only and forever will be: myself. I cannot change any of my friends, I cannot change my brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, mom, dad or spouse. I can only change myself…period. This is the beginning of doing what Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Yet, this is a much more difficult and heart-wrenching journey as it requires you to look at yourself!

This journey requires you to let go of your pride, soften your heart and look in the mirror inside yourself. Most people are scared to death to do this! In many ways I still am terrified to do this! Gosh it’s so much easier to put the finger, blame, be the victim and wallow in the sympathy we get from others by telling our victim story over and over again. Why do we do it? Because we are rewarded. We are rewarded with sympathy; people feel sorry for us and many times we honestly don’t know what else to do because we are so blinded by the intensity of our pain. The negative emotions of our past wash over us like a tidal wave to the extreme point where we are so overwhelmed that we contemplate suicide and the worst things imaginable just to escape the pain. The reality is most people will do anything to avoid reality. What if there was actually a way out of our cave of darkness? What if there was just a pinhead of hope? What if there was but the smallest ray of sunshine piercing through the darkness? Would I embrace it? Would you embrace it? Would we take it and lean to the possibility of life? That choice remains before you and I constantly.

For 36 years I believed many lies. These lies choked me of life. Here is just one of the lies that I used to believe: “why talk about your past hurts / pains? It does no good to wallow in them.” Therefore, I did not talk about them at all...ever. Instead I suppressed my pain, I pushed it down, deep down where no one could find it, not even myself. Until one day, I saw a young boy about 10 years old with lacerations on his body from an electrical cord his own father took to abuse him. The boy was so distressed and shrieked in fear as he retold the story to law enforcement officers on the scene. His body was lacerated and abused, his face was red and swollen from his tears. His world had been shattered and this was not the first time. The person who was supposed to be his “protector” instead took advantage of his physical power / authority and used it unwittingly to strip the boy of his dignity. It had left him scarred both physically and psychologically. What does anyone do with all that?

As a child, traumatic experiences are so overtly emotional we do not know how to comprehend the gravity of them. In psychology, we learn later on that these traumatic experiences we faced as children are so emotionally polarizing that they are intentionally “suppressed” as a “survival mechanism”, however, they must be dealt with later in life at some point or else they can come to define our very lives if they are not reckoned with. Behind each painful memory are very powerful negative emotions and behind those negative emotions are beliefs and lies that can define us if we allow them to. We can pretend that they are not there all we want. Like a dead person buried underground, their bones will still remain to haunt us of what once was unless we face them, own what is ours and reckon with all our baggage. It’s time to put the childish ways of suppression behind and begin to find some real tools and gather some real weapons to help us navigate through the wilderness of our soul. It’s time to experience real life filled with authentic love, joy and peace. The life God intended you to live. The life God intended me to live. The choice is yours alone to freely make.

I want to invite you on a journey through a narrow gate. The journey requires one thing for you to muster up—relentless courage. This journey requires you to look in the mirror and take ownership of all your madness and face it. In the Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, Theoden, King of Rohan, says to Aragorn at the moment when the fortress of Helm’s Deep is about to be breached:

Theoden: So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?

Aragorn: Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them.

Theoden: For death and glory.

Aragorn: For Rohan. For your people.

Theoden: The Horn of Helm Hammerhand will sound in the deep, one last time!